Forbidden Fantasies
by Lucky Pierre
Summary: What if everything you could ever imagine.... was wrapped up in one fanfic... to rule them all?
1. Draco's Rendezvous

_ Forbidden Fantasies_  
** Chapter One - Draco's Rendezvous**

It was misty and dark outside Hogwarts. Inside the castle, fires were ablaze in every fireplace. This included the hearth of Severus Snape's private quarters. Unlike most other Hogwarts residents, Severus Snape lay awake basking in the glow of the firelight, waiting.

As expected, there was a tap at the door, and in appeared the blonde headed Slytherin, Draco Malfoy. He glided over to the plush bed upon which Snape laid and casually settled himself next to the dark haired man. Draco let out an exasperated sigh. "Sorry I'm this late, but it seems as if all my professors are against me with so much tedious work." replied Draco with a tired expression. "All of them against you?" Severus inquired. "Well, all but you, of course." Draco replied, and moved even closer. "I'm sure you will fair well, as you are the most brilliant Slytherin of the lot." A pause. "And the most beautiful." Draco's ego was stroked immensely, he loved more than anything to receive a compliment from one of the only authority figures he truly respected.

"Your words are most flattering." said Draco, honestly. "Let me flatter you with more..." Severus swooped down on the young Slytherin, attacking the boys lips with his own. Draco immediately wrapped his arms around Snape's neck and began running his long fingers through the ebony locks. Snape let out a guttural moan. "Oh Professor," breathed Draco, "Take me! Take me now!" Snape needed no more convincing. In moments, their clothes were off and they were making sweet love by the fireplace.

Draco awoke at dawn to see his paramour sleeping peacefully. He smiled faintly and wished he didn't have class that day after such a night. He licked Snape's cheek playfully and he awoke. "Good morning." Snape responded, kissing him passionately. Draco winced as Snape slapped his arse playfully. "Still a bit sore there..." Draco sighed. "Come," Snape said, getting up from the bed and sliding dark pants up onto his slender hips, "It's time for you to get back to the dorms." Poutingly, Draco got dressed and after an intense goodbye, he snuck back towards the Slytherin commons.

Harry was glad not many other students were awake so early in the morning. He preferred to be alone when sending letters off to Sirius. Watching Hedwig soar into the rising sun, Harry felt relaxed and sighed heavily at the thought of attending his first class all too soon.

When almost back to his dorm, Harry spotted a blonde head that could only belong to Draco Malfoy. He also noticed that Malfoy was...walking comically slower and with more care than usual. Before he had time to ponder this, Malfoy spotted him. "Well, well, if it isn't Potter. What are you up to this morning?" "Sod off, Malfoy! It's none of your business." Malfoy sighed, ever so annoyed. "Whatever, you're fucking gay." Malfoy sneered. The hairs on the back of Harry's neck prickled and he clenched his teeth. "Oh really? Why, are you interested?" Harry shot him a sultry look. Malfoy's face fell, but regained his swagger quickly. "No way!" he snapped. "Go about your buttfucking business, Potter. Maybe someday someone will pay you for it!" "Suite yourself, Malfoy!" Harry said, as Malfoy stormed off and turned down a different corridor.

Harry couldn't help but wonder if Malfoy really did know Harry was gay, or was just throwing insults as usual. Harry had known he liked men for three years, ever since he found himself quite aroused when he caught Ron touching himself one night. He wasn't attracted to Ron very much, but the thought of another boy certainly does wonders to a teenage body...

Harry settled himself into his own bed and waited for several others to awaken first, so he didn't seem suspicious. Malfoy's curious walking and homosexual slurs fled his mind, as he fell into a very light nap.

_ COMMERCIAL BREAK:_

HEY YOU! -Is your buttsex painful? Saw-dusty? Does it cause rash or discomfort? Then you need...  
Professor Flimbibble's Charmed Lubricant! Guaranteed to work magic for all your anal needs! Next time at your local medic-shoppe, just look for the GAY GREASE logo, and your buttsex will not only be comfortable, but damn near virginal! 


	2. I Love Being This Gay!

**Chapter Two - I love being this gay!**

The next day was Saturday, and Draco's beloved Severus had Potions Masterly duties to attend to that afternoon. Crabbe & Goyle, who had finally realized that Draco didn't go for such low-class butt, were probably off stuffing their fat fucking faces with cake or some shit; and so he was left with nothing to do. '_I could go to the library, I guess. _'Then he shuddered._ 'Ew, reading.' _Draco didn't read anything except Wizard XXX Monthly, and even then he just found himself enjoying the pictures and not paying much attention to the articles on cooking a souffle with niffler milk.

'_I'll go into Hogsmeade,'_ he decided. _'Buy a nice box of Packing Fudge from Honeydukes for Sevvy.' _Yet something inside of him wanted something more. _'Hmmm, what IS there to do?,'_ he pondered heavily. Other than the regular shops Hogwarts students were allowed to visit, there were several pubs filled with those struck with boredom, and nothing better to do than get shitfaced and dance.

_'No one would know if I went,'_ he thought with a sudden burst of excitement. '_No one recognizable would be in there in the afternoon. And I could wear a fun disguise. Yes...yes.'_ Draco jumped up from his armchair and ran to find Pansy. He found her in the study of the common room spinning some sort of Muggle toy. "What in the world are you DOING?" Draco asked incredulously. "What the hell is that?"

Pansy jumped. "Oh, uh, hello..." she giggled nervously. "It's a dreidel, it's a Muggle toy..." Draco stared. "Yes, I'll just...put it away now..." She stuck the dreidel in her robe pocket & stood up. Draco blinked & said, "Okay, well...Petrificus totalus!" Pansy's expression turned blank. Draco guided her to the girls dormitory with Wingardium Leviosa, placed Pansy on her bed, and he began rummaging through her drawers for something absolutely fabulous.  
_  
'Let's see, what do I need...'_ Draco's mind went through what all he knew girls wore. _'Well, might as well start with the inside first.'_ He rummaged around her underwear drawer and heard something clank. He discovered what resembled a broom handle, but not as long and upon further inspection he realized that it was a- "MY GOD!" He jumped back and looked to Pansy, disgusted. He shuddered and remembered just why he was so gay. Carefully avoiding a certain part of the drawer, he rummaged around until he found a matching bra and pantie combination that he felt suited him. _'Well, there's that...'_ He thought, and quickly shut the drawer, happy to be done with that part. _'Now, dress or top and skirt combo?'_ As he looked through Pansy's dress selections, he made his decision: _'Definitely top and skirt combo.'_

After a bit of searching, Draco found what he was looking for - a turquoise tank top that wasn't too low-cut as to expose his fake goods, but, in his opinion, still showed off his totally sexy bod. And hanging in the closet was a brown-leather miniskirt. It showed off his tight butt and his shaved legs. With a pair of stilettos and some bangles, he looked in the mirror and admired himself. _'I am one sexy lady. Who WON'T want a piece of THIS laffy taffy?'_

After several moments of self admiration, Draco made sure Pansy's belongings were in order, all but what he had borrowed. He slid his robes on and scooped up his clothes. After walking to the exit of the girls dorm, he turned and lifted the Body Bind Curse and replaced it with a simple sleeping spell. Pansy would have quite a nice nap. He left the girls dorm, discarded his previous clothing, and started off for Hogsmeade, his school robe concealing his true attire.

As he was exiting the front gates, Filch was eyeing him carefully. Draco hoped desperately that his swishing robe concealed his clacking high heels. They were incredibly difficult to walk in, but they did accentuate his slender feet. When he arrived in Hogsmeade, he found a public loo and went into the crippled people stall. It had its own mirror. He used a charm on his hair to put it in a feminine bob and applied some lipstick and eyeshadow he'd found in Pansy's room. _'Am I a fire-engine red or coral pink?'_ he thought, staring at the lipsticks. He found that mixing them both together created a sexy color that made his lips look juicy and kissable. _'Just what I need, mmm.'_ After he was content with his makeup, he did a final mirror check and decided he was one hot piece of ass. Strutting out of the bathroom and toward the clubs, his sweet ass made more than a few wizards drool.


	3. The Wicked Erowid

**Chapter Three  
The Wicked Erowid**

Harry shed his invisibility cloak once he was in close proximity to the newer club he had heard about, "The Wicked Erowid". It certainly sounded enticing and at the first unscheduled Saturday evening he had, Harry decided to try it out. He walked inside, down a hallway with coat racks and the like, then found himself facing the beginnings of what promised to be a wild weekend party.

He ordered himself a drink and observed bodies already twisting to the thumping music. Finishing his drink, he started off to join the slithering bodies when a flash of blonde caught his eye. Harry turned to face the entrance and was sure his jaw hit the floor as he stood gawking at the sight before him. It was unmistakably...Draco Malfoy. **In drag.** Harry had no clue what had driven Malfoy to take up such...past times, but sure as hell wasn't going to let this opportunity go by.

_'What a lame disguise,'_ Harry thought. _'You can see where his fake boobs are uneven. Try again, Draco...or rather, just take it all off, right now...'_ Although Harry saw plainly he had never cross-dressed before, the sight was still attracting. His mind also made a note that there was no way Malfoy was straight as a noodle. _'At least, not when you heat it up...'_ and wicked thoughts flooded his mind.

Harry took a few breaths to suppress any laughter, and strutted up to the womanly Malfoy. "Can I buy you a drink, Miss?" He questioned. Malfoy's face was thoroughly surprised and Harry wondered for a moment if he, er, she, would faint. The Malfoy composure was stabilized, though. "Why, sure." An fairly feminine voice replied. Harry was impressed, _'God, this is fucking hot.'_ Harry ordered a drink for Malfoy and yet another for himself.

_'Oh my god, does he see that it's me? ...Or am I really that hot? I am pretty dashing... But, god, of all people! POTTER is buying me a drink! Oh well, can't do much about it now...Might as well go with it.'_ Draco thought, as he noticed Harry's tight pants. _'He must wear those whenever he goes out. Damn.'_ Draco smiled and excepted his drink with a quiet thank you.

"So, come here often?" Harry questioned. "No, actually. Just looking for something new." Harry grinned inwardly. "Well, if it's new you want, you've found it. I've been wanting to see this place since it opened not long ago...I'm enjoying it. Are you?" He stared intently at Draco. Draco gulped the last of his drink and went for it, "Yes. I like it a lot."

"Follow me." And with that, Harry strode towards a hallway, and hoped Malfoy would follow. _'Oh gods, what is he planning?'_ Draco wondered, but couldn't resist curiosity and followed Harry into a corridor. Harry smiled once he heard the clacking of Malfoy's heels. He entered a small room and held the door for Miss. Malfoy.

"Draco, being beautiful requires practice.", said Harry, closing the door. _'He's known it's me all along,'_ "Practice?" Draco arched an eyebrow. "Are you going to be my judge, then?" Harry gave a derisive snort. "If not me, then someone, because honestly, no one in their right mind would wear that top with that skirt," he said, looking Draco up and down carefully.

Draco let out an offended 'Hmph!', "Well if you think I'm _so unattractive,_ why did you even bother? Why let your handsome self be seen with _me_?" He crossed his arms over his chest, almost in a way to defend his top that he thought matched quite well with Pansy's skirt.

Harry raised his wand and Draco flinched. Harry paused. "Scared, Malfoy?" he asked slyly. Draco remained silent as Harry flicked his wand and muttered a spell. Draco's clothes flew off and folded themselves neatly on the scummy motel bed. Draco quickly covered his exposed parts. Harry leaned against the wall and said, "Is it really that small? You should be proud no matter what..."

Draco scowled and moved his arms so that they no longer concealed, but rather displayed his own rather well endowed body. "Now what do _you _have to offer, Potter, or are you going to cuddle the wall all night?" Harry's grin turned evil. "Maybe I will," he declared. He faced the wall and stroked it sexually. He began to bump and grind against the wall as if to a rockin' techno beat at the rave. Draco watched, gaping, until he couldn't take it anymore and grabbed Harry by the neck. "DO ME NOW, POTTER, OR I WILL CURSE YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!" he shouted passionately.

Harry kissed Draco roughly and turned his bumps and grinds from the wall to Draco, who instantly moaned and began to grind back. Draco's fingers went to work on Harry's clothes, and soon they were off, leaving both of them naked and humping like crazed, lusty, wild animals.

Draco stirred from his slumber and stretched slightly without opening his eyes. He took his right hand to pick up his left arm from his chest because it wouldn't mov-WHOA, WHAT? Draco's eyes snapped open and he looked to his side, utterly horrified at the sight of Potter _sleeping _on him. Draco bolted from his horizontal position and was pacing the small open space of the room, too shocked and too horrified for coherent sentences, just mutterings of "Oh my gods" and varying vulgarity.

Potter searched for his glasses on the bedside table so he could see what was happening. Malfoy was pacing and cursing, while he was laying in bed naked... He sat up and began to rise but felt a searing pain in his rear and decided it best to lie back down. "Good Christ, that hurts!" At the sound of Potter's voice, Malfoy spun around, eyes wide, "Oh my GOD, what have I - we - YOU! You got me drunk, Potter!"

"What? You had one drink with me. Not my fault if you can't handle anything."

"I bet you drugged me! Oh my god, where are my clothes?" Draco searched the room, then gathered Pansy's clothing from where it littered the floor. He began to put them on when he realized that they were _Pansy's_. He searched for his wand.

"By the way, what was that about? You sure you weren't drugged before you met me?" said Harry, eyeing Draco's choice of attire with suspicion. "I was in disguise!" Draco hissed. "Some disguise. Honestly..." Draco cut him off angrily before he could continue, "Don't you dare insult my looks! Besides, this is ALL your fault, Potter!" "My fault? You were the one dressed like some two dollar whore." Draco interjected hysterically, "But you started it! You bought me that drink and I had hardly finished before you dragged me to this seedy back room to have your wicked way!" Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I don't recall dragging you anywhere. You could have declined the drink, not followed me, and said no at any time. And I distinctly remember you shouting 'Do me now, Potter!' and 'Please don't stop' at _several _times."

Draco sighed heavily, possibly coming to terms with the fact that this was real. Real and consensual. "I still feel so violated!" Was this true? Did he really feel violated by Potter's touch, even though he had undeniably wanted it last night? What about Snape? _'Oh my god, Snape! What if he finds out? Is this cheating? But we're not together, we just...'_ With this whole new dynamic of the situation realized by Draco, he felt that pacing no longer was a good idea. He transfigured Pansy's defiled clothing into a robe and wrapped it tightly around himself as he sat on the only available area -the bed next to Potter. "Hmph, you feel violated? At least you could get out of bed." Potter scoffed. "Don't talk to me anymore, Potter, unless it's to Obliviate me." Draco raked a pale hand through his blonde hair and closed his eyes tightly.


	4. The Morning After

**Chapter 4  
The Morning After**

"Gustavus Octopi.", Harry muttered to the Fat Lady portrait and the door to the Gryffindor commons opened. Harry surveyed the room as he entered and was relieved to find it empty, everyone most likely still at breakfast. Well, the room was almost empty... it appeared that Neville Longbottom was head-first stuck in a large flower pot. Harry placed a foot on the stairs yet debated on helping his misfortunate friend. He walked over and spelled Neville's head from the pot. "I'm not going to ask how you got that way...", he said as Neville shook his head, appearing to shake dirt from his ears and hair. "Oh, thanks so much Harry! It was awful in there. So dark...and I think I felt worms..." "Er, no problem.", he said casually with a wave of his hand, and with that he made his way up the stairs to his bed.

He pondered on what he'd tell his friends, Hermione and Ron. There was no doubt that Hermione would be all up in his business like the nosy bitch she was. He didn't think Ron would care too much, as long as he didn't know who he was with. But Hermione...God, she could be an annoying cunt. No doubt about it, she was brilliant, and even beautiful compared to the half troll Viktor Krum, but Jesus Christ, she could never let something go or give up on sniffing out details. He prayed that maybe, for once, this could be an exception. He doubted it, but there was no way in fucking hell that he was going to tell her who he'd let butter his biscuits that night. That entire erotic night.

God.

Draco sure seemed to know what he was doing, and Harry had fleetingly wondered who he had learned all that from... It was good at the time, but now rather confusing with the whole archenemy's deal. Matter's were only made worse after Draco's little nervous breakdown. Harry doubted Draco would ever want to see him in that way, and was a bit disturbed by the level of disappointment that followed this knowledge.

He tried to drift towards more sleep, but every time he shut his eyes, Draco's face and body flickered on the backs of his eyelids. His stomached grumbled with anger and he finally decided to just go on to breakfast. He still wasn't sure with what he'd say.

Harry plopped down next to Ron, who was sitting across from Hermione as usual. He hadn't seen either of them say a word to each other, or even look up from their own plates. Hermione lifted her head and looked at him, "Have a time last night?". "Uh, Yeah...yeah, I did...fun..." His eyes darted around and he hoped she would see from his face to not ask. He looked back to her only to find her face turned down to her plate once more. "That's nice." She said. He couldn't believe his ears. Hermione Granger was not grilling him about his whereabouts, who, what, where, when, why, smell, shoe size, candy flavor, or anything else. She just said "that's nice" and didn't even care. WOOHOO, even if something had to be terribly wrong.

Harry didn't ask any questions then. He figured he'd ask Ron when they got back to the dorms. He allowed himself to scan the Slytherin table. Crabbe and Goyle were present as always, stuffing their faces with food from their plates that combined could probably touch the ceiling. Draco was no where in sight. He sighed and finished a piece of toast.

Back in the dorm, Harry laid down on his bed once more. Ron sat down on his then jumped up from it like it was on fire, he settled for pacing back and forth. "Alright, man, tell me what's going on. I've never seen you so pale and Hermione never asked anything. You know how she is." Ron looked sick. "Harry, have you ever done something that you... you've wanted to do, but then after wards you weren't so sure it was a good idea? And after wards it's like everything has changed, and there may be no way to go back to the way things were?" Ron sat down on Harry's bed, and with his elbows on his knees, he held his head in his hands.

"Yeah, Ron...I do. Now tell me what happened."

"Well, last night while you were gone, we were up here looking through some fantastically large book H-Hermione checked out from the library. No one else was around because of the Hufflepuff party. Yeah, they party lame, but go figure. Anyway, it was really boring and...I'm not sure how it happened...Don't want to remember...but...but..."

"What Ron? What the hell happened up here?"  
"We...We..."  
"What?"  
"YOU _KNOW_! WE...DID..._THAT_. Well, tried..." Ron started to hyperventilate and gag.  
"OMGWTF!" was all Harry could say. Ron's face started to turn colors and Harry finally helped him to breathe normally.

"Wow, I...wow, man. And I thought you had finally spied on Snape in the shower or something."  
"...I've never wanted to do that."  
"You haven't?"  
Ron gave him a look. "No...anyway, I don't know what the hell to do. It was so terrible! I feel disgusting and so does she, can't you tell? I can't look at her the same way."  
"Was it really that bad? It couldn't have been..."  
"Oh trust me, it was the grossest thing in the history of wizards to ever take place. Please don't ask me details, I can't go over them. The scar is too fresh, I'll vomit or something..."

"Oh come on, man!", Harry pleaded. Before he discovered his inner homo, he'd always thought about being with Hermione. He had to know.  
"No."  
"I'll tell you what I did last night...?"  
Ron raised an eyebrow. "Well... okay, but you better have a good story. Me and Hermione were having wine coolers last night... got a little tipsy, you know... Sparing the erotic details, she went down on me, and then we decided to do it. So I got it up again and lasted...a minute and a half, tops." He began to sob. "It was...so embarrassing. She was pissed, she snapped that she could get more pleasure from a Slim Jim, and stormed out."

Harry whistled.  
"Tough luck, bro. She'll get over it. Or you guys can perform memory charms."  
"Only Hermione can and I'm afraid to ask."  
"I'm sure you could try it, Ron. It can't be that hard."  
"Do you remember the day we practiced memory charms in Flitwicks?" Harry tried hard to remember, but shook his head no.  
"Well that's why. Took forever to wake you back up because I guess I even made you forget how to stay conscious."

Harry sighed and tried to think of a way to help his friend. "Well, there's always next time," he offered. "Next time? We can't even look at each other, how are we ever gonna...try again?"  
"Aw, it'll pass with time. She'll come around eventually. She can't expect so much the very first time around. Hey, you said she went down on you? How was it?"  
"Well, it uh... Hey, you said you'd tell me what you did last night. What was it?" Ron was glad he remembered this so he could change the subject.

"I went to the Wicked Erowid, and you'll never guess what I saw."  
"What did you see?"  
"Draco Malfoy. In drag."  
"OMGWTFBBQ, R U 4 REEL?!" shouted Ron, "Oh my gawd, I always knew he was a flaming HOMO!"  
"Yeah, about that..." said Harry nervously, "He uh, well...he...sprinkled cinnamon on my toast."  
"Uh, what?"  
"He filed my taxes." Harry added.  
"I'm sorry, what?"  
"He polished my trombone."  
"You play trombone?"  
"No! He broke into my house and rearranged my furniture!"  
"I'm still confused."  
"He...ran my red light! He lassoed my cow, he stemmed my rose! He fed hot dogs to my possum!"  
"Harry, you're not making any sense!"  
"OMG! He put me on the bed of a filthy motel room, took off my pants, put cherry goop on his dick and fucked me so hard in the ass that I saw the future! DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW?!" Harry screamed.  
Ron screwed up his face so much it looked like he had teh downs (see figure 2.7).

Five minutes passed.

"Harry..." he paused. "You know it says in the Bible that you can't do stuff like that. It's a sin to touch another man's sausage link." Ron's face had turned from a retarded invalid to a very grave and serious expression.  
"What? Ron, you're not...a Christian...are you?" Harry asked in shock.  
Ron gulped and nodded.

"I...I think I am. I've been hiding myself all these years..." Ron broke down into tears.  
"Oh, Ron..." Harry whispered soothingly, "I'm so proud of you. I'm glad you came out to me first."  
"Oh, I -wait. Wait. This isn't about me. This is about you. And it's about him." Ron said in a ghastly voice.  
"Who, Draco?"  
"No. HIM."  
"Ohhh, hahaha, you mean the big J-Man? Jesus?"  
"Yes, my heavenly Father -and yours. He died on this cross for our sins; he wants you to join him in heaven, not in hell with the sodomizers!"  
"So no buttfucking in heaven?", Harry asked sarcastically.  
"Oh goodness no!"  
"Fuck that! I'd rather go to hell with Draco Malfoy and have BACK BREAKING ANAL SEX for all of eternity!"  
"Harry, if you continue to speaketh of such abominations, I will be forced to not ever talk to you AGAIN!" Ron yelled.  
"Fine!" Harry snapped. "I'm going downstairs to find a house-elf to suck my dick. Fuck off. Bye." With that, Harry got up and walked to the stairs and was spun around by Ron.  
"Harry, I can't let you travel this path of evil!"

Harry grabbed Ron by the arm and threw him down the stairs, "WHARS UR GOD NOW?!" Harry demanded, and jumped over Ron's head when he ran down the stairs and out the door.

Ron laid there for a long time, bruised and probably bleeding, but most of all betrayed by his best friend.


	5. Something Whatever

**Chapter 5  
Something whatever**

Draco had laid in his bed the entire day, too terrified of seeing Potter or Snape. He finally got tired of lying in bed and decided to get his own food after the third time of trying to get Crabbe and Goyle to bring him some. They'd always forget what the point was and eat it as they came back. What a bunch of fuck-offs.

He walked through the halls toward the kitchen. Turning a corner, he found himself face to face with none other than Harry Potter.

"Watch where you're going, bitch!" Draco snapped.  
"That's what you were saying last night", Harry said with a grin. Inside, his heart ached.  
"Don't you speak of that ever again! ...What the hell is that?" Draco pointed to the magazine under Harry's arm. Harry looked down to the Cosmo he was holding and "102 Tips for Makin' Your Man Scream for More!" in large font across the cover. Harry looked to Draco and calmly said, "I'm checking my horoscope."  
"I can tell you it right now -the stars say that you will get the fuck out of a certain gorgeous blonde boy's head!" Draco cried.  
"Why? Why do you want me out?"  
"This can't happen! Not now, no way! Just leave me alone, will you?" Draco's stomach lurched when he saw flowing robes and the body of Snape walking towards them. He turned away from Harry and walked as fast as he could down the nearest hall.

Harry stared down the hall after him. His heart felt like it had been trampled on by a hundred Vikings on elephants.

As Snape passed him, he turned his head and in a disgusted sneer said, "Potter, I hope you're not heading toward the kitchens, your ass is getting flabby. Maybe Cosmo can tell you how to fix that." He walked on toward the dungeons. Harry wanted to cry.

He gripped his ass with one hand and thought, "Oh my gosh! He's right..." with that, he dashed off to the Room of Requirement to find an exercise bike. Inside, he found none other than Draco Malfoy.

"Potter!" Draco spout. He'd been laying on a red velvet bed dressed in sexy lingerie (this is what the Room gave him so he could feel comforted by his own looks). He was confused and pissed off as to why the Room let Harry Potter in. He certainly didn't want to see him anymore today.

Harry leaned against the wall and took off his robes, revealing his very flimsy white t-shirt and tight jeans.  
"Oh, it's so hot in here..." Harry said, hugging the wall.  
"It's...fine to me." He replied.  
"Probably because you're not wearing anything but a red butt-floss thong." Draco jumped under the bedsheets and concealed his nudity.

Harry threw himself onto the bed and shouted "WHY! Why won't you let me butter your biscuits every day and night for the rest of our lives? You know you loved it!"  
Tears fell from Draco's eyes, and he said "There's someone else."  
"Do...you love him?"  
"Well... it's more of a 'I love my grades'..."

Harry watched as Draco began to cry, then moved closer and softly put an arm around him, letting him sob into his shoulder for a few minutes. Finally, he had to know. "Who Draco? Who is keeping us apart?"

Draco shook his head.

"Come on baby, tell me. I need to know."

Draco looked at Harry with his tear stained face. "Promise me you won't tell or try doing anything heroically romantic and stupid. I can handle this myself."  
"I promise not to say anything, but goddamnit, I'm Harry Potter and doing dumb shit because I have a hero complex is my job."  
Draco smiled weakly and put his head on Harry's shoulder.  
"So? Who is it?" Harry asked, concerned.  
Draco sniffed and said very quietly, "Snape."  
"WHAT! You mean to tell me you've been playing Hide the Snitch with our professor?!"  
"Harry! It's not like that! Well, it is... But you don't understand! And you said you wouldn't say anything..."  
"How can I not? Besides, I don't see how you can misunderstand Back Breaking Anal Sex." Harry paced in front of the bed, ranting.

"I wish it was that simple!" Draco yelled. "I wish I knew how to quit him! You...You think it's sooo easy. That I can just get rid of him! His very soul courses through my veins!"  
"BULLSHIT!" Harry screamed. "BULL FUCKING SHIT! His dick courses through your _ass_, that's what's fucking coursing!"  
Draco cackled in insane anger.  
"Oh-ho-ho, aren't you a clever motherfucker?", Draco shouted with ears in his eyes. "What do you think _this_ is? What are _we_? Butt buddies? Oh yeah, this is gonna last _forever_..."

Harry grabbed Draco by the throat and pushed him against the wall. He kissed him violently and then pulled away.  
"No," Harry said, panting. "I love you. You complete me. All the years of tension and hate between us... it's had me thinking of you 24/7, to a point of obsession. I love you. I want to be with you forever...we could live together where no one would ever find us. We could -we could get a cottage in Norway...on a fjord...just you and me. I love you..."

"Baby," said Draco, tears rushing from his eyes. "Oh god." He kissed Harry and sobbed into his shoulder. For a long time they laid on the bed, crying and holding each other in between rough messy kisses.

What seemed like hours later, they awoke from a deep sleep. They stood up and Harry said, "I have to go back to the common room...I need to take care of Hermione..." They kissed one last time and Draco said bravely, "I'll be seeing you."

As Harry exited the Room, he said "Draco...I swear..."


	6. Love Your Friends

**Chapter 6  
Love Your Friends**

Harry went to the tower and entered his dormitory. He heard sniffling and soft cries coming from the loo. He tiptoed over to the bathroom door and his heart hurt when he saw what was taking place.

There was Ron, attending to the bruises and scratches acquired from the violent tumble down the stairs. Harry felt immensely guilty, regretting his own insensitivity. He knew a lot lay before him in his fight for Draco all to himself, and he realized the last thing he needed to do was shove his best friend _[down the stairs_ away.

"Oh my god, Ron...I'm so sorry." Harry said, entering. Ron winced at Harry's presence.

"Why, Harry? I trusted you...my best friend...to accept me for the way I am. I can't help what I feel inside myself. I feel like this path is what's right for me. Why can't you accept me?" Ron burst into sobs and Harry went to him.

"I'm sorry for making fun of your beliefs that way, Ron. And I didn't mean to do all of this.", said Harry, half holding Ron and helping to clean a scratch.  
"But I was pretty upset... My feelings were making themselves known to me, and then you tried to tell me it was wrong to feel the way I do about him. It's no excuse, though." Harry looked him in the eye.  
"We can still be friends, right? We...we can compromise, can't we?"

Ron stared at him, still occasionally letting out a sob.

"There are tough times ahead, and I need you. I need your understanding and your friendship."  
"Harry, **you pushed me down the stairs.** I have bruises in every place imaginable. On my arms, legs, neck, butt -wait, I don't want you thinking about my butt, disregard that-" Ron spluttered.  
"Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm going to have buttsecks with every guy I know." Harry said indignantly.  
Ron sighed. "I guess not..."  
"I love Draco and I'm committed to him. You don't have to worry. Please forgive me, I'm...so sorry."  
Ron gulped and nodded. Harry hugged his BFF, knowing it'd freak Ron out at first. But Ron should get used to hugs. Jesus loves to hug his children (oh yes, he does!).

"Well, buddy," Harry said, tears in his eyes, "I'm going to find Hermione."  
Ron grinned nervously and nodded. Harry pranced down the stairs into the common room. What a Leo.

Hermione was settled in an armchair writing an essay. They were due for breakfast in the Great Hall in 10 minutes. And Hermione never waited until last minute to finish her work.

"Herm, I know what happened." Harry said as he sat down. Hermione looked up at him nervously. "In cleaner and clearer terms, Ron's hose ran out of water before the garden was watered, I know."  
She set down her quill and laid back in her seat. "His hose was more like a broken faucet!" She snapped. "So gross. I had to shower after wards because I felt dirty."  
"He was pretty upset about what happened."  
"Yeah, I was pretty upset about it myself. It was so fucking bad..."  
"Hermione, you can't be too hard on him for it. It _was_ his first time and all." Harry hoped he could guilt Hermione into forgiving Ron for the Nastiest of Nasty.

"Harry, did he tell you _everything_ about what went wrong?" She said, looking at him squarely.  
"Well, I thought he did... Said he didn't last very long and you were pissed off about that."  
"That is true, but the main problem was he was so goddamn small! When I went down on him, it was because I thought finish getting him hard all the way so we could do it. The problem is it was already a full erection, but it was so tiny I couldn't tell. So he decides to fuck me, and I go along with it. I could hardly tell he was in me at all, Harry. So after two nanoseconds of sex, he comes, and...Jesus Christ! I felt nothing but the most intense sexual frustration ever known. He offered to do it again, so I might come too, but I knew it wouldn't do any good. Waste of goddamn time. It was like making it with a baby carrot -no amount of that could ever get me off."

Harry nodded sympathetically. Seeing Ron jacking off was when he knew he was gay, but this was back at age 12. When he saw Ron's penis, he figured it was still growing.  
"So...what are you doing homework this late for?"  
"Well, I was busy before and didn't have the time.  
Harry was confused. Hermione was always off studying, reading books around Ron and himself, or studying alone.  
"What?" She asked, after Harry made his own version of Ron's down syndrome face.  
"I just can't imagine what you would have been doing..."  
"Harry! You know studying is more effective after you've had sex."

Harry was aghast.  
"My god, Hermione, you're just a horny beast!" he exclaimed.  
Hermione grinned sheepishly.  
"Had to get some somewhere... namely, from Dean Thomas."  
"WTF?" Harry said. "Gosh Hermione, I didn't know you had a taste for chocolate...wow...you love them colored folk..."  
Hermione shrugged.  
"Well, after Ron's cocktail weenie, I really needed to find someone with a salami, and FAST. Who better to turn to than a black guy?"

Harry nodded. He loved himself some black dick in his day, but now the only dick he wanted was blonde and silver like a beautiful trophy.

"Hermione, on the subject of huge dick... I have to tell you something."  
"Done," She said, unbuttoning her shirt.  
"No! Gah, no, just listen." Hermione looked very confused.  
"Hermione... I don't want to see your yabbos. Or any yabbos. I'm...I'm gay."

Hermione stared at him.

"It's true," he continued, "I'm gayer than Richard Simmons. Gay as a rainbow. I love penises. I love hard cock ramming in me like most people love Christmas. Last night at the Wicked Erowid, Draco Malfoy assfucked me like a dog. I'm finally coming out..."

Hermione twitched but said nothing.

"Don't hate me, please... Just say something.", Harry begged.

"Hate you?", Hermione repeated. She sat up straight. "Hell, I just came in my seat. That's hot, you guys should make a movie."

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. "Good...good. Let's go down to breakfast, I'm hungry for something other than wang for lunch."

Lunch was difficult without Ron and Hermione speaking to each other. So, Harry ignored them and wrote kissy love notes to Draco on napkins, and bewitched them over to his table.

After breakfast, they wandered into Potions to find Snape covered in blemishes and surrounded by clipboards and posters with slogans like "No Glove, No Love." They sat down in confusion. Snape looked suicidal.

"Today...We are having Sex Ed."


End file.
